There seem to be two problems we make when setting resolutions. First, we set goals that are drastic lifestyle changes. And second, we expect these changes to happen all at once. We tend to set goals that sound impressive instead of goals that are realistic and tailored to ourselves. And when we imagine how they’ll be maintained, we lose sight and convince ourselves it’s easier just to drop them. 

And because of this mindset, resolutions begin to feel a lot more like pressure than motivation. For some of us, there’s the pressure to implement drastic changes—to “reinvent” ourselves. We feel the impulse to color our hair, switch out our wardrobe, and essentially take on a new persona. We want these changes to happen immediately. We’ll book the appointments and the gym sessions. But after a week, we give up. And all of this for what? To fit in? To alleviate boredom? 

This leads to measuring our success in extremes. If we don’t follow our resolution strictly, we believe we have failed entirely.

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And who likes to fail? If we miss one workout, forget to journal for a day, or choose the drive-thru over a home-cooked meal, it becomes a reason to quit. This is a nod back to wanting changes to happen immediately. We all know the saying, “Rome wasn’t built in a day.” But let’s be honest, not many of us have the patience to wait for the results. 

And this is how we’ve become as a society. We want the instant fix. For the results to happen immediately. We don’t want to wait more than a month for something to change. After all, our attention spans have become shorter and shorter. We buy the weighted vests, the ankle weights, the newest juicer, and the smaller clothes… just to stuff them in the closet and pull them out the following new year. 

So how exactly do we go about setting New Year’s resolutions? More so, how do we set ones that actually stick for the entire year? 

There are actually ways we can rewire our brains to stick to resolutions. 

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Let’s Stop Doing These Things and Start Doing These‍

1. Stop making excuses and start taking action.
It’s kind of ironic how you set goals but then make excuses not to follow them. So instead of saying, “I’m just going to skip this workout,” tell yourself that showing up—even for ten minutes—is better than not showing up at all. Small efforts still count, and they add up more than you realize.‍

2. Stop relying on motivation and instead build systems you can rely on.
It’s a given that you won’t always be motivated, so instead, you must be disciplined. If you create a system that supports your goals, you won’t have to rely on fleeting bursts of inspiration to uphold your goals. With day-to-day responsibilities, your motivation will fade, but systems will remain consistent if you set them. A system could be as simple as scheduling a workout ahead of time, tailoring it to your weekly schedule, setting reminders in your phone to journal before bed, or prepping your healthy meals at the start of each week instead of cooking on a whim. The less you rely on your own willpower, the easier it becomes to build your goals into your daily routine.

3. Stop trying to do it all on your own—start seeking support.
It’s a lot harder to give up on your goals when you have someone keeping an eye on you. While self-discipline is important, accountability, and encouragement from an “accountability partner” can make a big difference. If you and a friend, spouse, or family member embark to the gym, your motivation will likely be more present compared to if you go by yourself. 

4. Stop guessing and hoping—keep track.
It’s so easy to entertain the result of your goals—a healthy body, a greater connection with Christ, a stress-free mindset—and you get lost. Then it feels too good to be true, or somewhat unattainable. And once it becomes too overwhelming, you give up. Perhaps, if you begin to write things down, keep a log in your phone, or mark them off on the calendar, you can see your progress rather than just imagine it. 

It’s a Process—You Must Implement Your Goals Into Your Routine

Your resolutions shouldn’t be immediate, drastic transformations. Instead, they should be small, incremental changes that can be implemented into your daily routine. Setting a goal to go to the gym two to three times a week is better than not going at all. Setting a goal to cook two meals a week is better than getting takeout two more times a week. Setting a goal to attend church once a month is better than not at all.

These small habits can grow over time, making your resolution feel sustainable instead of a chore. 

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And then, your commitments can transform into something you love and take pride in. And this can allow your goals to expand and cement into your daily routine. Eventually, you’ll find yourself wanting to go to the gym more than four times a week, meal-prepping more than ordering takeout, and attending church four times a month. 

Because ultimately, our resolutions should not be about becoming a new person overnight. They're about becoming a slightly better version of who we already are. When we stop ditching our resolutions before we even start them and give ourselves grace to grow slowly, we give ourselves the chance to succeed—not just in January, but throughout the entire year.